I just need a win!

As I lay in bed last night, trying to fall asleep, my mind was racing. Yesterday had been a crap day. And no David, it wasn’t because of a big date! 🙂

Without going into a lot of detail, I’ve been looking at other jobs and have had several interviews and a lot of ‘thanks, but no thanks.’ Last week I had another, the company is great, I’d love the job, the people who I’d get to work with, everything about it. They made it sound like they wanted me. But again, another ‘thanks but no thanks’ email. I was crushed. The pay was significantly more than I make now, and pretty great benefits. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be. However, the boss did ask if I would do some video editing for them on a contract basis, so that’s at least something.

I’ve been so stressed about it; my contract here at the TV station is up Sept. 15th, so they will want to talk negotiations soon. So that impacts my life and decisions.

You know when you want something so, so much and its there, dangling in front of you, but you just can’t quite reach it?

That’s how I feel. Jobs are out there, but I just can’t quite seem to get them. It’s frustrating.

Then, I got kicked while I was down.

I was telling my friend about the job and said that I’d feel better if one area of my life felt successful. My love life? That’s laughable. My family? My dad needs a better job and my mom has to have back surgery at the end of the month. My career? See above.

Then she dropped a bizarre bomb. She is the friend who knew the guy I went out with twice in May before I began the Summer of Melissa and ended my Match account. He was a good guy (or so I thought) but after 2 dates he ‘ghosted’ me. Totally disappeared. Whatever, I moved on. Hadn’t thought about him in a long time.

She told me that she saw him a few weeks ago and asked him what was the deal with he and I. His response?

He looked at her, and cryptically said, “She’s very tall.”

…

Um, what? I’m 5’9", yes, that IS tall for a woman when the average height for women is 5’4". But he was taller than me by at least an inch or so. And I rarely wear heels, and didn’t wear them on the date. Besides, my match profile said how tall I am!

Talk about kicking someone when they’re down. This is why I’m not dating right now…what a dumb reason to stop talking to someone and just disappear on them.

Anyway, thank you for the kind words. I really appreciate all of you! Things did look better in the morning, even if I couldn’t tear myself out of bed to run before work.