Of COURSE it would happen to me!

Last night at Corky was couples night. We did the painting Starry Night (yup, just like the Van Gogh, but not quite the same). We had the painting so couples could paint it across 2 canvases and then hang them together. Perfect date night. We’re doing more of these for Valentine’s Day. I’m working those nights. Joy.

Anyway, Can you imagine my total and utter surprise when a guy I went out with once last year walked in? With his girlfriend and two other couples. This wouldn’t be a big deal except for the nickname I’ve given this guy: 
Blowjob Justin.

Now, I haven’t told you guys about Blowjob Justin. Frankly, it’s a little insulting. But, now I have to it seems.

Last February while I was still on Match, I had a date with this guy. He was nice, funny, cute and I liked him. We did dinner at my favorite sandwich place and then went to get drinks at a bar nearby. It was fine. Good time. But then, when we left it got weird.

The guy asked me for a blowjob! On the first date! After I had just met him! We had been kissing and then he told me to “put my talented tongue to use…” and do THAT.

UM, EXCUSE ME?! No. I declined. Telling him that I had read enough books and seen enough movies to know how THAT turned out.

He asked what I meant by that, and I said that no matter if I did or didn’t, he would never call me either way…so no, it wasn’t going to happen.

He assured me he would call me. At this point, I was insulted and irritated. I told him a firm “no freakin’ way” and left.

Guess what? I’ve never seen him again until last night! He didn’t call. Surprise, surprise. 

I’m sorry, but I JUST met you and you want me to put THAT in my mouth? NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!!

Oy. My life. Seriously.

My Corky co-worker laughed so hard when I calmly turned to her (after he was across the room) and said, “That’s blowjob Justin!" 

This is my life. These are my choices. I can’t make this stuff up.