Do we ever see ourselves?

My best friend and I had a conversation tonight that was really eye-opening for me.

A little background: When we were in high school, I was the “fat” friend. She and our other BFF were both much thinner than I was and more normal weights than I was. When we were in high school I was size 20-22. They were size 6 or 8. Today, I am the skinny friend. I’m a size 6 or 8 where they are size 14-18. 

When we were teens, my bestie said that she never felt like she was skinny. That she never really saw herself the small size that she was. She never felt comfortable in her body. So now, when she sees herself at her current weight and size she still doesn’t “see” herself. She hides behind drab clothes and dark colors. She’s uncomfortable in her own skin, and doesn’t know if anything can ever fix that.

Her husband tried to help. Offered to workout with her. He was frustrated because he wanted to fix it and she wasn’t giving him a way to do that. She said she didn’t want him to fix it, just to listen and be there for her.

It made me think about me, and all of our weight loss journeys. It took me YEARS before I was able to see myself as a thinner person. People who don’t know my history will say things like “you’re so skinny.” And I don’t know how to respond to that. I want to brush them off. Tell them its not the truth. But ya know what? It is. And that’s awesome.

I often wonder if I need therapy. To talk it all out to an unbiased 3rd party. Because being overweight for a good portion of your life will do things to your head. Make you think things that aren’t necessarily true. Maybe that’s what this is; my therapy. You guys are just a whole lot cheaper!! 😉

Deep thoughts on a Monday night