…Always get me down.

Not really, but today the weather is appropritate for my mood. Dark and dreary.

My love life has left me so confused. I wonder what I’m doing wrong. Why I keep getting left alone. Why they leave. The common factor here is me. There have been so many dates that don’t lead anywhere.

Charlotte understands me.

But seriously. Dating in your 30’s is tiring. I’m looking for the one. Is he even out there? I’m beginning to think that I’m destined to spend my life alone. And I can’t even get a cat because I’m allegeric to them!

The reason for this sad, sad post?

I had a 2nd date on Friday with this guy. I had actually met him in real life back in February. He is friends with my old roomie, the state senator. He hit on me that night, telling me how pretty he thought I was, and that I had amazing hair. Flash forward to a few weeks ago when he emailed me on Match. I figured out who he was, and when we met for drinks last Wednesday I told him that we had met before. He said he knew I looked familiar…and we talked and ended up having a fantastic date. So much so that he asked me to go with him to a party at his friend’s house Friday night. I agreed and went and we had a good time. But it feels like maybe something happened after that. I didn’t hear from him all weekend. No texts or anything. So I went against the girl rule and texted him today. He did reply back and I decided that I would ask him if he wanted to do something this week. He said, “yeah, maybe.” And then listed that this week was busy and could be play it by ear?

Pretty sure he doesn’t want to see me and is fading away. But I could be wrong. I don’t know.

But my question is this, what happens after the first few dates? Am I that undateable? That horrible in person? Am I someone that they like better in theory than in actuality?

Pardon my pity party, but someday I think I would like to be pursued. Feel wanted. Made to feel like I’m worth it. Worth the effort. Worth loving. Because I know I am. And I’m tired of letting these guys make me feel like less than that.

/end rant.