Tag: dating

The Dating Game

So I had a date last night with a new guy….after the marathon! I’m a champ! 😉  It was fun. We had a good time. I met Holli, Steph and Lindsay for an early dinner where I ate about 2/3rds of my salad and then went to meet Bachelor #…well, at this point I have no idea what number we’re on anymore! We went to Texas Roadhouse and sat at the bar ordered an appetizer and drinks. I drank water–hydration please! 

We had a good time, laughed a lot and talked about a lot of topics. He’s 35, divorced and has a daughter. Does this sound familiar? It should, just like Douche Bag Scott! I seem to attract these single dads. But unlike DBS, he appears to be good people. We shall see.

He texted me about a half hour after I got home and told me it was great to meet me, and that if I wanted, he’d like to go out again. I told him I would like that. We chatted a bit more and then that was it. 

The strange thing? We are facebook friends and he posted a vague post today about it sucking when that special someone ignores you, and it sucks even more to pretend you don’t care.  I certainly don’t think he’s talking about me, as I haven’t heard from him today, and I was the last one to text him last night. So odd. But whatever. 

My match subscription ends soon. I’m going to let it. This dating thing is oddly stressful and I think I need a break. 

To answer some questions/address some things:

  • melanieisdoinglife said: That guy is nothing but trouble. Do you think he’s reading your blog? Good job using the anger as motivation!

 Melanie-I totally agree-nothing but trouble! I don’t think he is reading this, and don’t really care. But if he is? I hope that he feels like crap. He deserves it! And thank you!!

  • keepgoinggreen said: He sent that message to make himself feel better. Just more proof he is a douche and its good you found out now. Proud of you for taking the high road as you already have your answer on Captain DoucheBag!!!

    Rich-You are so right! I hadn’t thought about it like that until you said it. But he was doing it to make himself feel better. One of my friends said that he must have been torturing himself about it for the past 3 weeks and all the publicity about the Marathon made him think about me and he finally had to say something. Thank you so much for the support. He is Captain DB! 

  • davidsgoals said: You done good. The race, him, all of it.

    David-Thank you! 🙂 You’re the best. 🙂

  • tinkerbellrun said: That was a perfect reply!

    That’s what I thought too!! I showed restraint for once in my life! (pats self on the back!) 😉

You’ve got to be kidding me!

Last night around 8:45, as I was getting stuff ready for today’s race, I got a text message notification on my phone. If I get to it fast enough, I can read most of the message as it scrolls across the top. All I managed to catch of this one was “…sorry.”

I had been getting good luck texts all day, so I wondered who it could be from. And why they were sorry. When I opened message, my stomach dropped to my feet and my heart started pounding.

It was from Douche-Bag Scott!

Are you freakin’ kidding me? 

His message was this: “Sorry I disappeared on you. I promised I wouldn’t and I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what to say. Anyway, good luck tomorrow.” 

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I hadn’t cried over him. Didn’t think he was worth my tears. But when I called my mom (good news, she’s not mad at me anymore!) to tell her about it, I immediately burst into tears upon hearing her voice. She of course thought something was horribly wrong until I set her straight. She was flabbergasted. I didn’t know if I should even justify him with a reply. Did he deserve one? Certainly not. But do I want to be the better person? You betcha!

So after careful thought and consultation I replied back with this: “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

That’s all. No asking him why, no calling him, no wanting to talk it out or tell him how crappy he made me feel. I knew he wouldn’t answer or reply back to anything I said so instead of making myself crazy I let it lie.

I took the freakin’ high road. And I feel pretty good about it.

But the rage I felt when I read the message? If the race would have been last night I’m fairly sure I would have crushed the time I dreamt I got earlier this week (2:06). My heart was still pounding a bit last night at 11pm when I was laying in bed, trying to sleep. 

During the Half today, whenever I was needing some inspiration to run I thought about that stupid text and I ran off the rage! So, thanks Scott! Thanks for giving me some rage from which to pull out a pretty great PR. 

That is 3 things from him this week. I’m spent. First the video, then the email from match that he’s a good match for me, then this. Oy. I hope that’s all over with.

I will recap the rest of the race later. For now, I nap. 🙂

Thank you for all your comments and likes! I’m so happy and proud! Life is good.

Happy Sunday friends!

Seriously?

As I was responding to some correspondence tonight (i.e. replying to my Match emails, I just think that sounds much more genteel than ‘emailing back random dudes I’ve met online’) I noticed that the system had sent me some new recommendations for guys they thought I should look at. And lo and behold, but who is one of my daily matches?

None other than Douche-Bag Scott.

Seriously Match? As if seeing video of him on my TV Station this week wasn’t enough, you have to twist the knife a little bit more by reminding me that we are a good match? Ugh.

Gee, thanks.

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Whatever dude.

In other news, I went over to Lindsay’s house and got to hang out with Bailee, Lindsay, Holli and Victoria for awhile. You know you’re getting old when you decide that 10:45pm is late and you need to go so you can go to bed!

We made plans for brunch in the morning. I am ridiculously excited. Bring on the french toast! 

Lincoln Marathon weekend has begun!

Confession time

No judgment allowed. We all deal with things in our own time. What works for one person doesn’t always work for another.

That said, I still have all the texts that Douche-Bag Scott and I exchanged on my phone. I don’t go back and read them. I’m just not ready to delete them yet. Its as simple as that. I also have 3 voicemails that he left me saved too.

I will delete them eventually, I promise. But I’m not a knee-jerk reaction kind of girl; I don’t tend to make decisions out of irrational behaviors. This serves me well in my job and my life. It took me awhile to delete my texts from my ex Joe last summer. Say what you want, how unhealthy it is, how sad I am. (I’ve heard that from coworkers today). Ultimately, is my life and my choice, right?

That’s what I thought too.

Thanks for listening friends.

Life is strange

In the past 36 hours I’ve:

  • managed to lock myself out of the house. One roomie was in Omaha with her BF and the other was teaching Dance. I had to go steal Dance teacher’s keys to get into the house. I had taken my key off my ring to go run with Monday night and forgotten to put it back on. I’m going to make a copy tomorrow!
  • been complimented by my boss for putting our main female anchor in her place. I hit her with a low blow, and shouldn’t have said what I did, but he was glad I did and thanked me for doing it. So odd.
  • In other news, in the interest in putting myself out there…and the fact that my Match subscription doesn’t expire until May 14th or something like that, I’m emailing with 3 other guys.  We shall see.  If nothing else, I’m sure they will give me more stories, right? 
  • My friend was telling me about a guy that she knows that she thinks I should meet. His name is Scott. I had a knee-jerk reaction, but told her if she thinks it would be a good fit, to set it up. 4th times the charm? 🙂
  • Just when I thought Joey was also doing the slow fade (and for once I didn’t mind!) he texted me last night. I really don’t want to end things in a text. Need to find my guts somewhere. 
  • I was supposed to run 2 miles tonight to taper for the Lincoln Half Marathon on Sunday. I had to get on the treadmill and could only force myself to do 1 mile. I just wasn’t feelin’ it. The weather has been fantastic for days…and then the bottom dropped out today. It was 80 yesterday and now, as I sit here its sleeting/snowing/raining and 31 degrees. Mother nature, you are drunk. image
  • Bailee comes to run the Lincoln Half this weekend! Can’t wait to see her!!
  • Now that its May, in just over 2 weeks, Bailee and I will head to Fargo to be reunited with Brooke and Johnna!! Chicago Tumblr reunion!! So excited!!!!

Have a great night friends!

It’s like a punch to the gut…

I came into work this morning to be told by my morning anchor that Douche-Bag Scott would be appearing in our morning sports report. (Our sports director tapes something the night before that airs in our morning and midday shows. Our midday anchor had met Scott at my birthday party.)

He’s an assistant coach for a local high school girl’s soccer team, and it’s district playoff time so our sports team covered the game last night. (sidenote: I actually ran by the school during my run last night. I will admit it, I looked for him, but didn’t see him. Pathetic, I know.)

The video from the game starts with an opening shot of Scott giving the girls a pep talk for about 4-5 seconds. When I saw him my stomach fell to my feet. It still hurts. It will hurt for awhile I think. Despite knowing what a jerk he is, I still miss him. We had fun together, and a good connection. I miss that. If things were still good, I would have texted him, sent him a copy of the video. We would have laughed about it. But now? I’m just sad. And here I thought I was doing so well.

Shows what I know.

Dating is for Optimists, Part 2

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When things are going good in my love life, I don’t tend to like to talk about them. I think I’m afraid I will jinx it. That merely by speaking of it, in some cosmic way I will mess it up. Deep down, I know this isn’t true. That simply by sharing my joy I won’t lose it. However, I can’t shake the feeling that something bad will happen when I really like someone. I feel like I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Its not a good way to live your life.

I’m hiding this after the break!

Case and Point: Not long after I started Match, I met Scott. (Not to be confused with Oversexed Scotty or even Soon-To-Be-Divorced Scott. In fact, in that post, I said how I just didn’t seem to have any luck with that name. Oh, how true that was!)

This Scott emailed me, and I hesitated. He was 34, divorced with a 4 year old daughter. I tended to avoid divorced men, especially those with children. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be involved with that. But his emails made me like him and so I responded. We started texting, and then we talked on the phone for hours. I talked to him for 8 hours total before we even had our first date. We talked about everything. We decided to go out on a Tuesday at the end of February. He told me he wanted to go ahead and pencil me in for Wednesday and Saturday too. It was all very romantic. He would text me “good morning beautiful” in the morning, random things throughout the day, and we’d talk at night. This man that I had never even known existed suddenly became very important to my life.

But I didn’t ask him to. I didn’t ask for all of the texts, calls and whatnot. I didn’t ask for the promises made down the line of things we would do, dates we would go on. I wearily tried to keep it in check. Men have made me a lot of promises in the past; things they say we will do together, and they rarely come through. So I tried not to believe it. But he made me want to. He came out to my birthday, he met my friends. It felt like things were going well.

We dated for about 6 weeks. I never met his daughter. When he didn’t get what he wanted…he did exactly what he said he wouldn’t do–he disappeared. On our 2nd date, he asked me what I needed in a relationship. And I told him, that if he wasn’t feeling it, to tell me. Not to just disappear on me. He said he would. That we would talk about it. The last time I heard from him was on Marathon Monday two weeks ago. He used me while we were dating as his personal news source. He texted me that day and asked what was happening in Boston. And I replied and when I asked the next day if we could hang out, I never heard from him again.

So he now has a nickname. Because you all know how much I love those! His name is Douche-Bag Scott. Because he was/is. After a month of dating I asked if we were exclusive, his reply? He still wanted to date other people, and me. That should have been a red flag to get the heck out of dodge. But I stuck it out two more weeks. There were so many other things, not fit to print. But know that if I had listened to my gut, I wouldn’t be writing this post.

I’ve learned a lesson; I’m worth it. I am worth texts and calls. I’m worth being exclusive with. I’m worth being pursued. It shouldn’t be a hard choice for the right person to make. It won’t be.

I know that.

Dating is for optimists

So I had another date Friday night with the guy I first had a date with before I went to Denver a few weeks ago. His name is Joey and he’s a perfectly nice guy.

This is a long post, so more after the break!

I told you all that he seemed motivated. If the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” is true, parts of it are, I can assure you. The part where the guy says that if a guy is into a girl, he will find a way to see her. He will make it happen. He will call/text/email. That part is 100% true. Why we women try to deny that and give men excuses, that they are busy and have busy lives and don’t have time to text/call us is beyond me. I do it too, so do my friends. Its ridiculous. 

In all my dating (and lately, it really has been a lot!) I have learned a few things;

-If he likes you, he will call/text/email. It is simple. Men are easy to understand in this way. 

-Go with your gut. If your gut is trying to tell you something, listen. With so many of the guys I’ve dated lately I haven’t listened to my gut. That is dumb. My gut is ALWAYS right. 

-That old saying, “when you know, you know” really is right. Because with all these guys I haven’t known if we were meant to be together (or have known that they weren’t right for me). Listen to that voice inside. It is trying to tell you something.

-Hold out for the magic. It’s there. I know it is. I have yet to find it, but the hope of it is what keeps me going. What feeds my soul. I KNOW he is out there, somewhere. I have faith that God doesn’t want me to be alone for the rest of my life. That sustains me in the crazy journey. The magic of what I know is coming. It’s out there. I promise.

Back to Friday night’s date. Joey lives in Omaha (about 45 minutes away) and he drove down to meet me for a drink after I had dinner with my friends. I called and asked to meet for Froyo as I’m on a Froyo kick currently. We decided to do that, then grabbed a drink at a local bar. We had a perfectly nice time. He’s funny, sarcastic and teased me a lot. I was tired and apparently wasn’t going to try to hide it. I don’t like to drink much/drink really ever so in the time it took me to drink one drink, he had two. We then decided to go another bar. I got a drink there, and he got another one. 

(Random fun fact about Melissa: I’ve never, ever been drunk. I don’t like feeling out of control and I really don’t want to waste the calories on drinks when I could eat them instead!)

Joey spent a lot of the date telling me that he was going to get me drunk that night. It was funny at first, then just annoying. I was cold and tired. He could tell and I felt bad about that, but I honestly wasn’t feeling it. I just don’t feel that connection, the chemistry with him and I don’t know how to tell him.

He walked me back to my car and then I took him to his car. He gave me a hug goodnight (still hasn’t tried to kiss me!) and we left. He wanted me to text him when I got home because he thought that two drinks made me drunk. I thought that was sweet. But I just am not feeling it. And I feel bad about that. 

He texted me last night, to ask me how my long run went. He talked for a bit and that was it. I have yet to hear from today, but I’m fairly ambivalent about it. I feel bad when he does text because I’m just not feelin’ it. First World Problems. A guy likes me and I don’t like him? I should be so lucky. Sigh.

So, I guess I will see him again if he asks. I always think that a kiss can say so much, so if we do see each other again I will see how things go. That’s the plan anyway. 

I have more to tell you all about other men I’ve been seeing these past few months. There’s some good nicknames and stories. I’ve learned some hard lessons these last few months. But pain builds character, right? That’s another post for another day.

Happy Sunday Friends!

Update

Sooo, I wrote Mr. Sassy Pants back. I told him I wasn’t sure if that was just a line, or something that he crafted specifically for me. I told him that I’d gotten a few “form emails” and just wanted to know if he had actually written it for me. If it was, then I told him I liked it. We shall see.

I had a date with another guy last night. It went really well. I’ve also been texting with the guy from last week. He wants to see me again, but he had to go out of town for work and I just didn’t feel like going on a date Tuesday night when I got home from Denver. Sounds like he wants to do something this weekend.

Which means this weekend could be busy because last night’s date asked me to go with him to a party Friday night. It’s island themed. I’ve yet to confirm that I will go to that because I’m still trying to move! My friend that’s helping me has pushed it back twice now. We are supposed to move tonight. Fingers Crossed.

So, that’s whats new with me. It’s sleeting here. I’m over this winter mixed with spring. I need warm weather!

Someday this will be a running blog again. Things have been crazy-I plan on a 12 mile run on Saturday.

Have a great day friends!