Tag: I just can’t even

D’oh!

My boyfriend and I were driving through downtown Lincoln on Sunday afternoon when I gasped in surprise and started blushing. He asked me what was going on and I had to tell him.

Staring straight at us was a GIANT billboard with the face of a guy I used to date on it. He’s running for a seat on the City Council here in Lincoln and he’s started campaigning. I told him I used to date the man on the billboard…in fact, he had even sent me a photo of his um…..STUFF, if you know what I mean! (That photo was the proverbial straw (HAHAHA) that broke the camel’s back!)

My boyfriend didn’t say much, just laughed and we kept driving.
A few hours later he said that he’s noted that I’ve “dated a lot of pretty impressive guys. An attorney, a guy running for City Council, a former Nebraska State Senator….”

And then I added, “a Felon….”

He said he forgot about him! He was a real gem. Just another adventure with Melissa!

My phone REALLY wants me to figure out Fahrenheit to Celsius conversions, apparently. @two-o-nine did you do anything to my phone from Winnipeg???

The app says it’s set in Fahrenheit…but you can see that I’m getting Celsius temperatures.

I have no idea how to convert it, and it’s kind of irritating me. Lazy Melissa does not want to learn.

Also, yes, my Wi-Fi is called “Hide ya kids, hide ya Wi-Fi.” It makes me giggle. The man from Time Warner thought I was a nut. (shrugs) whatever, dude!

Is this real life?

After my Friday night of extreme compliments, I thought my streak of good luck in that department had run out.

Nope. Sure didn’t.

Saturday, I went to the wedding of a former co-worker. My former College Professor friend was there and brought her friend and former co-worker with her as her date. (I feel like I have to be a little guarded on my blog now, which sucks. Too many people know about this, and have told too many others. There are some scary stats coming in from my Stat Counter. All the Omaha hits, I’m looking at you).

The gist of it is this: I grew up watching this guy do the news in Omaha when I was a kid. He ended up telling my former Professor that he thought I was hot, had a hot body, and was hitting on me during the reception. He said I looked like Mariska Hargitay! (I don’t know that I see it). He friended me on Facebook and sent me a message too, saying he was glad they left when he did because he would have danced with everyone and stolen a few kisses.

Um, what? 

You guys. He’s 60.

60! My parent’s are 61…so there’s that.

Talk about awkward.

Oy. My love life. It’s a freakin’ joke.