Tag: life

Question of the Day

If you could go back, and completely change your life by choosing a different path than the one you currently took, would you? Even if it made you a different person than you are today?

Had this conversation with a friend the other day. Really made me think. I’m curious as to what your answers would be.

Terrific Tuesday!

  • 3.1 miles before work OUTSIDE this morning! It was a brisk 44 degrees, but it was great to be outside running. I’m a fan.
  • The flowers and trees have burst into blooms recently. I am such a fan. It makes all the difference in the world to me when spring finally hits and the world wakes up from its winter slumber. 
  • This tree is one of many along the hospital that I live across the street from. I love the way the morning sunlight is hitting the buds.
  • I’m having a dinner tonight with my former College professor that I am very close with. She’s a friend now. I like that. 
  • My friend Rob and I are going to a Psychic and then going to get Froyo. I’m so excited. I’ve always wanted to go to a Psychic…just for fun! 

I’ve read some other posts about this community and there are some things I want to address. But right now, it’s time to do the news! So that’s a post for another time!

Have a great day friends!

“Happiness is the way”

I had an epiphany last night. I was in bed, saying my prayers before succumbing to a fitful sleep when it happened: I finally realized there is no set “way” to happiness. Happiness IS the way. (Thanks Thich Nhat Hanh)

I was asking God for help. Help finding a better job, one that makes me happier. Finding the love of my life. Because I want that. I want that so much.

All my life I’ve bought into the “if, then” principle. For example: If I lose weight, then I will be happy. If I have a boyfriend, THEN I will be happy. If I run x amount of miles in a week, a year, then I will be happy. 

But that’s not true. Happiness can’t be found somewhere, in something, or someone. It’s inside of you. You must make your own happiness. Do things you love, and love will find you. Do what makes you happy and happiness will come. 

It’s just that easy.

But I fight it. Why do I fight it? Why do I think that I know best? Losing 150 Pounds DID make me happy-that’s true. But it isn’t the root of my happiness. Having a boyfriend (sometimes) makes me happy. 🙂 But I’ve finally realized that I’ve got to be happy being alone before I can be happy with someone else. And I am. I think. (I gotta work on that, I guess!) Then the right one will come along and simply add to my happiness—not be responsible for creating it. Because that is too much weight to place on one person. I need to be happy in the job I’m at now, because that’s where I’m at. I can work on changing that though!

Happiness isn’t found in another person, a better paying job, in the bottom of a bottle, or on a plate of food. It’s not in material or physical things. It’s in the quiet realization that I have everything I need, right here and now. 

What a powerful realization.

“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

I’m struggling

Sometimes I think we all show each other what we want others to see on here. A happy, good life. Balance. Prosperity. Kicking butt in workouts.

But that’s not always true. That’s not how its always going. Not for me right now, and not for some of you, I’m sure.

The truth is, I’m struggling. Not with my weight, or with food or exercise. Although my running is spotty at best right now. I’m still doing it. And my weight is fine. That area is fine.

But my personal life? I’m struggling there. Seriously having some troubles. I don’t know what to do to make it right. It is so hard to help when others won’t let you in.

I feel helpless and out of control. Feelings I hate. My first instinct is to help. To talk about it. But that’s not an option. I just have to be patient and wait. I’ve never been very good at that.

I’m a worrier. About anything, things that are beyond my control and things I can control. But the thing is, nothing I do and no matter how much I worry about it won’t change the inevitable outcome (whatever it will be).

Today’s Note From the Universe really hit home today (doesn’t it always?):

Melissa, I want to let you in on a little secret… E V E R Y O N E has issues… everyone. Even those who don’t seem like it. Because without issues, NOTHING WOULD BE WORTHWHILE.

Think about that.

So glad we had this little talk.

Tallyho,
The Universe

 

Things and Stuff

I haven’t run since Wednesday. Maybe I’ll run a few tonight on the treadmill. Maybe not. I’m ok either way.

I’m so very sad that I’m not in the Twin Cities to see you all run the Marathon. I miss my friends. 

It has been a year since the Chicago Marathon. That was one of the coolest experiences of my life. I’m feeling a little sad this weekend. I miss seeing everyone. I miss the rush of the Marathon experience. Running a Full is something that no one can ever take away from you. I’ve done that. It’s awesome.

Part of me wants to do another Full. The logical part of me knows that I’m good with one and done. (plus, my doctor said no more Fulls!)

I think I’m going to sign up for the Ugly Sweater 5k run in Omaha in December. It’s fun to run and maybe something the Lincoln Tumblrs could do together?

I have to work at the Station this afternoon. We have a postgame show after the Nebraska game. I dislike those. The Huskers are kicking butt right now. Go BIG RED!

It’s chilly here…50’s, cloudy, windy and crisp. I broke out my skinny jeans and boots. Love that!

I’m working on not over-thinking everything. I’m really good at that. It doesn’t do me any good but causes me un-needed stress and tension. I’m really good at creating problems that aren’t there in the first place. Someone please remind me to get over myself.

Have a great weekend friends!

Update

  • I went to the doctor on Tuesday. He gave me Prednisone. Awesome stuff. I’m on it for 7 days and 3 days in my hives are nearly gone. There is still a bit of itching. But it’s so much better! Huge relief.
  • I went to the Dentist before I went to the doctor to fix the tooth that I chipped Saturday night. He filled it, but said it might not last, and I should consider a crown. That sucksssss.
  • I work at Corky tonight (they called me in, otherwise I haven’t worked since Sept. 21st!) hoping for some good tips.
  • My mom’s BFF’s daughter-in-law needs some help for an event some night in Lincoln next week. It apparently pays well. I’ve left her a message and am waiting to hear back about it. I’d like to keep on this money train.
  • It’s supposed to get cool here (read: 50’s) this weekend. I’m looking forward to jeans and boots and sweaters and scarfs.
  • In that same vein, I really really really want a pair of red skinny jeans. Like bright red. They are incredibly hard to find. I spent a good portion of my day off driving around Lincoln looking for them. But skinny jeans are hard to find when you have runners calves. That’s rude. I will prevail!
  • Still haven’t decided what do about rude co-workers and ex-coworkers reading this blog. A big part of me says ‘screw you’ and I think I will continue to post as normal. If you are that mean, well, I just don’t understand that.
  • It’s Thursday. Tomorrow is Friday. That’s fantastic!

Have a great day friends!