Tag: me

My view on this cold and snowy Friday morning.

My day off is great so far: I slept in, ate breakfast and am getting ready to hit the treadmill for a run! Currently I’m laying on the couch, waiting for my breakfast to settle.

Fun fact: one of my roomies is a firefighter (and is the boyfriend of another roomie) he made me fried eggs for breakfast as I can only do scrambled eggs! He’s the best! šŸ™‚Ā  He also looks out for me too…worries when I don’t come home at night and if I don’t tell him. Such a sweet guy.

Happy Friday!

“And I ran, I ran so far away…”

Well, maybe not THAT far…just a mile since I haven’t run since Saturday! But still. I’m proud that I did it!

My roomie and I decorated the house for Christmas tonight. That took precedent over my run. I’m running tomorrow. A minimum of 3 miles.

Now I’m watching Glee and enjoying my night!

Have a good one friends!

Chai Tea Latte date!

Using the Newsroom Keurig this morning. That makes me very happy! Itā€™s about 30 degrees outside, yesterday it was 60! We are supposed to get some snow this afternoon. Iā€™m not ready for winter either Sam!Ā Snow is pretty, but Iā€™d rather it just do it on Christmas day, and then be warm again.Ā 

Iā€™m rocking a Christmas mug. Itā€™s one of the stationā€™s collection in the break room.Ā 

Today is my Friday because I have to work Saturday for another Husker Postgame show. Ugh. Luckily, the regular season is nearly through. I want my weekends back.

I ran into a girl I went through Elementary school through High School with the other night. She told me that she was jealous of my weight loss and that she was glad I havenā€™t turned into a ā€œskinny bitch.ā€ She says usually when people get skinny they get mean, but I havenā€™t. That correlation surprised me, but I suppose it does happen. Glad it hasnā€™t to me! šŸ™‚ I donā€™t think I could stand myself if it did.

I got my hair colored the other night. Just a bit darker (gotta cover up the grays that Iā€™ve had since I was 16!) I love when itā€™s first colored. Makes me feel pretty.

I havenā€™t run since Saturday. My mojo has taken a big hit. Iā€™m sure its partially due to the break up and partially because of the weather. Iā€™m running tonight. Someone please hold me accountable!Ā 

Yesterday my oldest nephew turned 7! Oy. Heā€™s so big! Tomorrow, my dad turns 61. Where has the time gone?

Todayā€™s Note from the Universe really hit home this week:Ā 

You simply cannot know, Melissa, what will make others happy.But you can always know for yourself.Ā 

Go for it,Ā The Universe

This week has been kind of rough. But Iā€™m getting better. Time heals all wounds.

Hope you have a great Thursday Friends!

Oh Monday, you saucy Minx you!

It’s a mix of good and bad things here in Melissa-Land! I’m still healing from the break-up. I know its the right thing, but when I’m alone and I think of him and our time together, then I get REALLY sad. This too, shall pass. Right?Ā 

Onward and upward!

  • I’m trying to get Life Insurance to save money for the future. The nurse came to my house at 7:30 this morning to do a wellness check, take blood, Urine, etc. Fun things from that: My Blood pressure (which she took 3 times, was very low. And kept getting lower. The last one was 88/60. She was very concerned that I was going to pass out! I felt fine! -I apparently have tiny, child size veins. She couldn’t get one to give blood in my arm and had to use the back of my hand and the smallest needle. That they use on KIDS! Sorry? -She couldn’t find my pulse in my right wrist. No one ever can. It’s quite strange.
  • My co-workers and I collected money to buy a Keurig for the newsroom. The company has 2 coffeemakers in the break room, but we wanted a Keurig. They wouldn’t buy one, so 15 pitched in $10 and now we have one. And some k-cups too! That’s an awesome way to start my Monday.Ā 
  • As I was starting to talk about the break-up with my co-workers, one said, interrupting me, “your boobs look HUGE!” I stopped talking, surprised and looked down. Everyone in the room-men included did the same. They all agreed that the ladies are looking good today. So odd. So very odd. But totally normal for my work.
  • Then I found out I have to work Saturday for another Husker Postgame show. We aren’t even carrying the game on ABC so I’m quite annoyed. Grrr.
  • My Christmas Vacation finally got approved! I’m off from December 19-29. I don’t come back to work until the 30th. I’m so freakin’ excited!Ā 
  • I’m going to have Froyo (again)! tonight with my Lincoln ladies and then hit a movie with my friends Keith and Linda. Should be good.
  • A co-worker and her husband own a B&B. She asked me to essentially house sit and be there for guests for a week in January. I will get paid. YESSSS…. Money!Ā 

That’s all I got. Have a good week friends. I know I’m going to try to.

And just like that, it’s over

WEā€™RE over. Broken Up. Again. This time for good. I canā€™t say Iā€™m surprised, but Iā€™m sad. So very sad. We were together for 3 months. Thatā€™s long enough to know that you like someone a lot. I do/did. Sigh.

He texted me this morning, a long message. Telling me that he had given it a lot of thought, and didnā€™t think that he should be in a relationship right now. That he doesā€™t have the capacity to be the person he wants to be in the relationship, and that itā€™s not good for either one of us. He apologized for allowing the demons to overtake him again. He said its not fair to me and he feels awful for what heā€™s done to me.Ā 

I called him. We talked for an hour and a half. It was good. Maybe the sweetest, but saddest breakup Iā€™ve ever been through. We talked, we laughed. We both want to keep talking to each other. But I donā€™t know how healthy that is. I just donā€™t know. He apologized for doing this to me twice. I told him I was originally going to fight for us. I had all my reasons as to why we should be together. But I understand. He needs to be a whole person before he can be in a relationship with me or anyone else. Ā He lets his work overtake his life. (Heā€™s a lawyer and the director of a Non-Profit). He needs balance. I canā€™t do that for him.Ā 

And I deserve the fairy tale. A man who is ready for a real relationship. Who wants to be with me. Who wants to get married someday. (Currently, he doesnā€™t want to get married again. Thatā€™s something I want someday.) Heā€™s out there, somewhere. I know it.Ā 

Iā€™ve cried again. Not the body-wracking sobs that came the last time. But mostly tears of sadness. For what could have been, if he had been ready, been whole. Iā€™m sad. But I know I will get through this. Time heals all wounds.Ā 

Thanks for being here for me friends. I need that. Your kind words and messages have made me realize that Iā€™m not really alone.Ā 

So for now, I take care of me. Happiness comes from within, and while I am happy. I want to be happy from within. Does that mean I run more, spend more time with friends Ā now that Iā€™ve freed up other time? I donā€™t know. But I do know, that I will survive. Heartache and I are old friends. And while I wallow today, each day will get a little better.Ā 

It has to. I deserve that much.

Currently.

I’m calling this photo “buck up Melissa.”

I’m in a mood. Down in the dumps. And to top it off, I have to go to work for pre and post game shows for this Husker game.

I woke up at 8 this morning for the 3rd week in a row. Not the way I want to start my Saturday. But apparently my body had enough sleep.

When I woke up this morning all I could think about was him. We haven’t talked since Wednesday. I miss him. I want to fight for us. All the arguments as to why I should have been running through my head for days. I’m not ready to give up on us, simple as that.

Sometimes I wish I could read the last page of the book, find out if it’s all worth it. Because I think it is. I know it is. And that’s what’s pushing me through.

Thoughts on a Friday afternoon

My friend told me last night, as I was dumping my heartache on him about manfriend and Iā€™s current situation, that he ā€˜canā€™t wait to read my memoirs someday.ā€™

He says that because my dating adventures are so ridiculous that people think I should write them down.

In fact, my co-workerā€™s son has! Heā€™s a college sophomore and he has written a play for a class about my love life. And the fact that I like to give nicknames to some of the losers Iā€™ve dated. Oy. My life.

My brother (good-naturedly I suppose) called me a ā€˜dating slutā€™ a few weeks ago. He says that only because Iā€™ve gone out with and dated a lot of men in the past few years.

He then asked me how many men I have dated this year. Upon further reflection, I discovered that number is 9. Doesnā€™t seem like THAT many, right? Whatevs. Iā€™m not ashamed of it.Ā 

Another co-worker (who is married) told me that she loves my dating adventures, and that the problems I face in the relationships seem so much worse than the things she complains about with her husband.Ā 

Iā€™m glad I can entertain people with my misadventures in the dating world. Itā€™s bound to workout someday, right?

Sorry for the brain dump. Sometimes you just need to get it all out, right? Thanks for listening.

A few more pictures from last night’s grand opening and fashion show.

On the left, we hit the mall to be the first shoppers. Warren Buffett owns the jewelry store Borsheims. This picture makes it look like a legit red carpet. Love it.

The second photo, my friend and coworker Rob and I hit the catwalk! We’re fierce!

Happy Friday friends!