Monday

  • So it’s January 107th today and I am 100% done. We had snow, ice, and rain this weekend and it is 39 degrees here. Honestly, I’m ready for warmer weather and to not wear my winter coat anymore for awhile.
  • I have been diligently working on increasing my water intake, especially at work. I have been buying the drink mixes that are 10 calories (no sugar, etc) and I mix those with my 30 oz Yeti-esque cup. I have been drinking three of those cups full Monday-Friday. I also drink my 11 oz protein shake in the morning AND 6 oz of hot cocoa that I mix my collagen with.
  • So you can only imagine how often I have to use the restroom! I counted today, and as of 3:50 pm, I have gone a dozen times here at work. OY.
  • Since I’ve been laser-focused tracking calories, macros, and weighing my food consistently, the scale is GOING DOWN! Of course, I go up and down like a pound some days, but overall, I am consistently down. So yassss!
  • Meeting with the travel agents did NOT go well. Not even joking, they looked like Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman in “Matilda.” (See photo below)
  • They asked why we are getting married in Mexico at the end of May and said that was a “strange time to go there”. My fiance was QUITE irritated with that. That’s when we’re going, don’t judge us!
  • The wife couldn’t remember that we weren’t going a cruise, and the husband didn’t know if he was listed with the BBB. Plus, he has a case of false reporting brought up against him. So there’s THAT. 
  • So we are back to finding a new travel agent. The only reason we are using one is that we do not want people to bug us about booking the trip, we want someone else to handle that for us.
  • Because I already have enough people bugging me and telling me ways they think we should do it, and that tourists are getting killed in Mexico, etc. At this point, I am ready to just go with my boo and get married by ourselves there. That’s not what we will do, but GEEZ LOUISE! Why does everyone have an opinion about MY wedding???
    • Ok, rant over. Have a great day, friends!
image

Did I tell you about the time the gym I joined in Lincoln for bootcamp tried to take credit for my 150 pound weight loss?

They had me do an interview with the paper, used an old before and after, and used the article on social media and in emails, along with the newspaper. They’re still using it today! I got this e-mail from them this morning.

The best part? The story doesn’t lie. I Did lose inches and gain muscle during my time there, but the massive weight loss? It doesn’t give them credit for that!
Hrrump.

Oh hey guys! I’m still here!

I had an incident at the end of October that had to do with my blog and an ex from a long time ago… so this hasn’t felt like a very safe space for me ever since then. My apologies for letting that cause me to not post here. It really sucks when your safe space is comprised.

Life, lately:
-I started a lifting plan today with a friend. I went running this morning before work and then lifted after work. The plan is from the book Thinner, Leaner, Stronger. I dig it.

-my cardiologist told me I have to lose weight. Specifically 20 pounds. 😒😝 it’s really upsetting that I let myself gain that much weight back. Oh well, no more beating myself up. Time to clean things up and make my health and fitness a priority.

-I’m trying to be a better blogger. Know that even if I don’t post, I’m still here, reading and liking your posts. Miss you friends!

The following article was written about me by my coworker to appear in our monthly newsletter. May is Open Enrollment for health insurance with the State of Nebraska and we do a Wellness Plan that encourages you to make healthy choices and move more. When my coworker found out about my weight loss, she pitched this story idea to my boss. She was all about it. Here’s the finished piece, including my before and after photos that will accompany it. If you have any great ideas for a title, please send them my way…we are still searching for one, thanks!

Transforming Melissa: Small Steps Yield Big Changes

Note: May is National Health and Fitness Month and Global Employee Health and Fitness Month. Here’s hoping this story can be a motivator for better health. Melissa participates in the state’s Wellness Option Insurance Plan.

By Julie N.

Melissa L. has lost herself. Half of herself, that is.

To look at Melissa, you’d never know that she lost 150 pounds – going from a high of 300 pounds to 150 pounds. And what’s even more remarkable is the way that she did it: the old-fashioned way, incorporating simple wellness tips into her daily routine, such as eating smaller portions and adding light exercise to her routine. In fact, you may see the 5’9” public information officer for the Department of Health and Human Services doing a few laps around the lower level of the State Office Building each day, as she logs the 10,000 steps a day prescribed by the State’s Wellness Options Health Plan while on breaks and her lunch hour.

As part of May’s Global Employee Health and Fitness month, Melissa shared her story with Connections.

Melissa, who began gaining weight in the fifth grade, noted that the catalyst of her major change was a former co-worker, who looked at her pre-diet lunch of cheeseburgers and asked her point blank, “why are you eating that junk?” As well, her mother, a cardiac nurse, warned of the dangers of overeating and recommended an 80/20 plan: eating healthily 80 percent of the time, allowing less-healthy treats the remaining 20 percent of the time. “I realized that my quality of life was not going to be great as I got older if I held on to the weight,” Melissa said.

So Melissa, then 23, decided she’d try eating a new way and kick what she calls “the other f-word.” While no food was off-limits (“that’s an invitation to binge,” she said of “forbidden” foods), breakfast was typically oatmeal or half a cup of Special K cereal; lunch, a Lean Cuisine meal – “because they were already portioned out,” she explained – and dinner a salad with chicken and dressing on the side from Runza. “I’d dip my fork into the dressing, then into the salad,” she said. “And portion control is absolutely key. With a lot of restaurant meals, I’ll ask for a to-go container and automatically put half of the food in it for another meal. When I was losing weight, I often ordered a kids’ meal. They are often healthier, and the portions are more in line with what we should be eating. And – bonus – they’re cheaper.”

Within a month, Melissa lost 20 pounds and was inspired to keep going, even though her doctor told her she’d likely never get below 200 pounds. “I took that as a challenge,” she said with a smile.  Teaming up with two close friends, Melissa began a regular gym routine two months after beginning her dietary changes. “Even when I didn’t feel like working out, my friends would drag me out of the house and to the gym,” she remembered (six months later and 60 pounds down, Melissa was a bridesmaid for one of those friends.) Melissa began by walking slowly on the treadmill, gradually adding weight-lifting and elliptical training to her routine. “I didn’t do everything at once,” she said. “I think if I’d tried to completely change the way I ate and began exercising right away I’d set myself up to fail. So I started eating more healthily, then began to work in the exercise piece.”

Melissa emphasizes that her weight-loss journey was a slow and steady path, rather than a faddish, lose-weight-quick scheme. “I started losing weight in June 2005, and I hit my goal in October 2011,” she said. That included a year-long plateau at 90 pounds down, which she broke through when she began running. She will run the Lincoln Half-Marathon for the sixth consecutive year in May 2016, and ran the Chicago Marathon in 2012. She’s also done “countless” 5K and 10K races. “It’s become a stress reliever,” she said. “I get all itchy when I haven’t run. Given a long-enough run, I feel like I could solve all the world’s problems.”

Melissa also emphasizes that keeping weight off is a matter of constant vigilance. “I weigh myself every day, and my weight will be something I’ll always have to watch,” she said. “I don’t have a superhuman metabolism. It’s hard. But choose your hard.”  But it’s a worthwhile tradeoff. “I had no self-confidence when I was younger,” she said. “People don’t see you when you’re that big, even though you take up so much space. If I had a dollar for every time I heard, ‘you have such a pretty face…’ Everyone knows what that dot dot dot means, even if they don’t say it out loud.”

She encourages everyone who is thinking of making lifestyle changes to believe in themselves enough to do it. “It has to be on your time, but getting healthy is a gift you give your future self,” she said. “And don’t beat yourself up if you slip. Every day is a new day.”

One week of @clevcrew’s food plan. Two weeks of lifting weights consistently. Five weeks of training runs. And this is where I’m at. This dress hugs every curve and makes me feel like a million bucks. It also helps that it is gorgeous here and I’m going with bare legs for the first time this season! This outfit is an NSV indeed!

I had my first check in last night with Sabrina. I honestly felt like I had not had any changes from the first photos I sent her. But that, my friends, is why you send in photos. I’m not going to put them here…I’m not comfortable with you guys seeing in me in a bikini yet…but, like the awesome coach she is, she pointed out what I couldn’t see: I’m starting to shrink in places. My thighs are where it’s coming off the fastest and I’m very happy about that. I’m also down 3 pounds. Small steps are just a part of the whole process.

I told Sab that I couldn’t stomach any more scrambled eggs so we switched up my plan and she gave me some advice on how to cook egg whites with my oats. I’m happy to report that the changes work great for me so far.

Have a great Tuesday friends!

I’m new(ish) to your blog and just saw that you’ve kept off 150lbs for 5 years! That is freaking amazing! Congratulations! Can you tell us about what it was that made you hit “rock bottom” to get you to being serious about the weight loss and how you did it! My very best friend needs/wants to lose about 150 and she tries, does well for a month, then goes back to eating whatever and not exercising. I know it’s a process but I love hearing success stories!

Hi there anon! Thanks for your kind words! Losing weight was hard, but keeping it off is even harder. You make a conscious choice every single day to choose yourself and your health. And sometimes, you just don’t wanna.

So you wanna know what made me hit “rock bottom”? Or perhaps what “rock bottom” was? To be completely honest, it was when my friend/co-worker looked at me, (while I was eating a juicy cheeseburger) and said, “why are you eating that crap?”

It shook me to my core. No one else had EVER dared to say anything about what I was eating–they won’t say it to your face, but they will silently judge you, or talk about you behind your back! 

It was the push I needed to start eating better. I started by eating salads with chicken each night. Then I cut out sweet treats that I was buying myself every day. I cut down on pop. And the weight just started falling off. I was very heavy, so it came off fairly fast. At 5′9 I was 295 pounds. That is morbidly obese. There’s no way around it. 

All I did was eat better for the first few months. That’s all I could do. I think if I would have made too many life changes at once I would have failed. But I did it in steps. About 6 weeks later my bff got engaged and we started going to the gym together. The weight kept melting away. I started eating better in June and by the time her wedding hit in April I was down about 60 pounds. At that point, I became single-minded in my focus. I want to get to 100 pounds lost. Then, I wanted to get to a normal weight for my size. Then, I realized I could get down to half my size, so I did, and then some more to hit 150 pounds.

I hit my goal weight in October of 2011. I’m part of the National Weight Control Registry (they track people who have lost 30 pounds or more and kept it off for at least a year). I totally changed what I ate and exercise habits. Tell your friend it is hard and it sucks and is TOTALLY WORTH IT!!

Some photos for a little perspective: 

On the left Jan 1, 2009                                    On the right Jan. 20, 2016

image

Left:2005                                                             Right: June 2015

image

Hey…I went through a similar size transformation when I joined the Army and many people who hadn’t seen me since I was fat didn’t recognize me at all. Did you experience the same thing?

YES. I’m answering this publicly because I don’t know that I ever told you guys about my 10 year high school reunion. I was heavy enough in high school that when I went back for my reunion no one really recognized me if I wasn’t friends with them on Facebook. The cute boys that wouldn’t give me the time of day in high school, were suddenly falling over themselves to buy me a drink. It was FANTASTIC! The pretty popular girls were shooting me evil glances across the room because they couldn’t figure out who I was! BEST REUNION EVER!

I will say, that sometimes I don’t recognize myself when I look at photos from back then…I’ve been this size for awhile now, and the brain tends to want to forget the past and hide your mind from painful memories. This weekend I went shopping for a dress for some weddings I have this month. I found and bought the dress below because it fit like a dream. It hugs my curves in all the right places and made me feel like a million bucks. Juxtaposed against the photo on the left from 10 years ago…I don’t even recognize myself! 

image

What a difference a decade can make, right?!?!

“Who’ll stop the rain?” The Friday 5 Version

  1. More storms, more flooding. And I’m scared my basement has water in it. Le Sigh. I’ll see when I get home I guess.
  2. My friend and I are going to see Pitch Perfect 2 after work today. I’m SOOO excited!!!
  3. I bought that fabulous doormat at Target last night. Did I need it? Nope. Do I love it? Yep. Totally worth $12.
  4. I was getting ready to workout with a quick run and death by Jillian last night, when I looked at myself in the mirror from the side and I was surprised with what I saw. Who is that girl in the mirror? Sometimes I just don’t know that I see how I really look anymore. It’s hard to explain, yet I’m sure you all know exactly what I’m trying to get at. The mind is a weird thing.
  5. I leave for Phoenix on Sunday. I have not packed a thing. I get home late Wednesday night and leave Thursday afternoon for Denver for my Best Friend’s wedding. To say that I’m stressed is an understatement. I wish I didn’t live my life by the phrase “The ultimate inspiration is the deadline.” Get it together Melissa! Sheesh.

Have a great weekend friends! I’m packing my bikini (because life is too short!) and heading to the land of the dry heat! Can’t wait!!

If you were in a different body, would you have the same personality?

(via ugly)

I’ve often thought about this, but perhaps in a different context. Would I be the same person if I had never gained all that weight? Would I still be “me”? Would I have developed my personality (which is largely that of the funny girl mixed in with a flirty side) if I had always been a size 8 like I am now? Would I be on a totally different path in life? I grew up being told that I had “such a pretty face.” Which is code for, “lose the weight and you’re probably attractive, fingers crossed.” Who would I have become if the circumstances (i.e., if I’d never been so heavy) been different?

Deep thoughts on a Monday

Transformation Tuesday

I was scrolling through Facebook last night when I saw the photo on the left. My first thought was: “That girl kinda looks like me. That’s weird” Then, my next thought was, “Holy Crap! That girl IS me!”  Albeit, a “me” from 15ish years ago. A lifetime really.

I remember taking that picture. I remember feeling like this big, uncomfortable blob of a person next to all of these svelte little things I was spending that weekend with.

Today those feelings are mostly gone. I say mostly because, can you ever really get rid of them? Do you ever fully heal from the trauma that can happen when you’re overweight? I don’t know.

15 years later I’m healthy, happy, and so much more confident. I run, lift weights, bike, and am an all-around active person. Am I still a work in progress? Yes, without a doubt. I think I always will be. Will I keep working on becoming the best possible version of myself?

Absolutely.