I told you before that a lot of my co-workers both current and former read my blog. I found out about it awhile ago and couldn’t decide what to do. I find it very strange that they want to read it. Do you all view this as my online diary that you are snooping through? Do you make fun of me behind my back with what I post? Do you get some strange joy from reading things that I ALREADY TELL YOU ANYWAY?! People don’t make sense to me. But the question for me is, what do I do about it?

Do I:

• change my blog name, thus hiding my little corner of the internet from them? (and don’t tell anyone about the change?)
• post less personal things because they are reading it?
• censor myself
• keep going as I have been–no matter who is reading this?

So far I’ve done a combo of the last 3. I’ve been guarded here lately. I don’t like feeling that way. I’ve asked some of them why they read it. They claim they don’t, they just know everything I post. Here’s the thing: I KNOW THEY DO! Liars!

Here’s what I think: It is my own fault for putting myself out there. This is true. But what started as a safe place for me to talk about running and my life has now turned into something I distrust. A place I feel judged. Where I can’t say what I want to say to my friends (you) without worrying that someone here will judge me for it.

So thanks a lot co-workers, both current and former. You have tried to ruin something I love. I don’t know why, and frankly, I don’t care. But either way, something has to change.

And you know what? It has NOTHING to do with any of you, my lovely Tumblr friends. I have made some of my dearest friends through this site. I am so very glad that I am here. Of all the people I’ve met through the internet (online dating included) you all are my favorites! If not for this place I never would have run a Full Marathon, I wouldn’t have gone to Fargo last year to run a Half with Brooke, Bailee and Johnna. I wouldn’t be going to Canada this summer to see Brooke. I wouldn’t get to meet Ginni this summer. I wouldn’t have met the guy with the coolest Mustache, David. And so many others. 

So, what’s the answer? I honestly don’t know. I love my blog name. I don’t want to give it up. But maybe I’ll have to.

Jerks.